A New Begining

You know anything about chaos theory? I know it has to do with fractal geometry. That's about all I know.

But it also has to do with there being order and even... great beauty, in what looks like total chaos. And if we look closely enough at the randomness around us, patterns will start to emerge

I want patterns to emerge too…

Patterns that define my life better, right now they are all haphazard and entangled.

I would like uniformity in my thoughts so that I can write words….

Truly brilliant words with a deep insight and very elegantly strung together, to define a profound meaning within a few choice but apt words which sum up a basic truth about life, faith, belief and various other truths I have encountered in my life.

I would like to dream….

Dreams I can make my reality. Park my dream boat in a lovely spot by a chuckling brook of freshly melted ice with just me and her to keep me company. I want to dream of her. Of touching her, feeling her, talking to her, sharing everything with her so that the two become one.

I want to feel….

I am sick of being numb to all emotions all senses nothing penetrates this thick membrane of indifference I have been wearing as a cloak against heartbreak. Something needs to penetrate my sense of detachment that I so comfortable with.

I want to travel,

Travel and reach those distant horizons that I see beckoning me somewhere out there every time I look out towards the sky. I want to bridge the gap between my finite life and infinite ambitions.

I want to roam ......

unfettered by the shackles of responsibility I never asked for, but which were still thrust upon me.

I want to re invent myself.......

A pale shadow of what I am today, maybe a better self.

I look for a purpose.....

In this foray into life and hope to find it one fine wintry day when the cold winds blow from the north and come winging their way to me bringing much needed colour to my cheeks..

I want to bring order into the chaos that is my life.

I want to be at peace with myself.

Reconciled with my reason and in tune with my wandering thoughts.

I see all these things already inside me, but getting them into some order and make perfect sense is proving elusive.