The Fallen

When all Hope is Lost the mind protects us with denial and my denial protected me from facing what I knew! That I had to climb out of this hidden valley on my own two weary slightly frostbitten feet.

Doubts reigned supreme, two voices very much my own began an internal dialogue
It was classic Gollum & Smeagol!!

Would I have the strength to trek in this wilderness? {Probably Not}

How steep were those slopes? {Very steep 70 to 80 degree gradient, almost vertical}

Would the footing on the ice be stable enough? {With all that new snow fat chance}

What path should I follow? {Toss for it matey you are effed anyways!}

What would happen if I fell? {Probably the best way to end the misery, though it would be painful and awareness would set it before the lights went out finally}

And always in the forefront: What lies beyond those black ridges that I needed to climb in order to get out of the valley....{An endless array of more snow clad mountains, not the green valley you hope for}.

But a decision beckoned and I knew I had to get moving quickly if I had to give myself any chance to survive at all

 

On The Edge Of Reason

On the Edge of Reason
After her Softest Treason's.

Silence

Haven't blogged for a long time,

There is so much to say, so much in my head,

So much that will remain unsaid;

Oh those wasted years, all that wasted time

But on the other hand:

I think of Rilke going for years without writing a word,

and then producing in a matter of weeks,

in a castle besieged by the sea "The Duino Elegies".

Even silence is preparation .

Jumping Jacks Flash!!!!

Come to the edge.
We might fall.
Come to the edge.
It’s too high!

COME TO THE EDGE!
And they came,
and he pushed,
and they flew.
~ Christopher Logue

"But I say: That which is falling should also be pushed!

And him you do not teach to fly, teach - to fall faster!"

~Neitsche

When The Road Becomes My Bride....

When the Road becomes my Bride
and the earth becomes my throne
I adapt to the unknown
Under wandering stars Ive grown
By myself but not alone

Off the beaten path I reign
Rover wanderer
Nomad vagabond
Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home

- Lyrics adapted from Metallica's Wherever I May Roam

Searching for Shangri-La...

My Shangri-La beneath the summer moon,
I will return again
Sure as the dust that floats high in June,
when movin' through Kashmir.

Sometimes The Lights All Shining On Me..

Sometimes the lights all shining on me
Other times I can barely see
Lately it occurs to me
What a long strange trip it's been

- Truckin by The Greatful Dead