Two Sparryheids sit at a table in a public house talking shite about the fitba ( A sport their country is neither good at and willnae ever be and they themselves suck at it pathetically).
The Sparryheids are almost undistinguishable from each other with their brown feathery heads, open, tense, belligerent beaks and slimy liquorice eyes.
One Sparryheid goes up to the bar but the barman refuses to even acknowledge him let alone serve him. You see the barman has ultra conservative sectarian leanings which makes him averse to Sparryheids.
Additionally this barman has enjoyed the benefits of a classical education which makes him feel superior to most people, particularly Sparryheids, who he hates to wait on.
With Sparryheids he sticks to his old trusted way i.e.
1. ACT DECISEVELY & Ignore their very presence in your sphere of activity.
2. Remain Implacably in control of that initial decision, irrespective of whether that decision is just or not.
3. Never attempt to explain to Sparryheids the reason(s) for your decision, by justifying or rationalizing you merely compromise your authority and admit that they are in your presence.
The Classical Scholar was steadfast in his ignoral of the two Sparryheids. He had other problems to face.
There was always a tension in his mind and body; this was part and parcel of being a Classical Scholar in a world where the Classics were undervalued & his depth and breadth of knowledge went unrecognized.
Instead he was forced to pull pints for Sparryheids. This caused depression, anxiety and tension.
There is another reason, SHE is in the bar.
Worse still: SHE is in the bar with HER.
Two women under thirty he has been intimate with in various degrees of undress.
The Sparryheids keen vision is focused on the two women, who sit in the corner of the bar, deep in conversation, ocassionaly stealing looks at The Classical Scholar... and occasionaly breaking into conspirational giggling fits.
If SHE went home with a Sparryheid it would be the end for the Classical Scholar, Somethings were too much to bear.
A few minutes later SHE stood up and shashayed towards the Classical Scholar.
I want you to come back with me and her she said pointing to HER, who winked at him.
Understand that we won't sleep with you, you'll get nothing off us. You're a sexy man but take yourself far too seriously. We want to teach you something about yourself. Right?
SHE smiled seductively and moved back over to where her table.
The Classical Scholar wondered what they wanted him for.
He would go though. It could be enlightening. It didn't matter whether you were a Classical Scholar; there were always lessons to be learned in life.
